In today’s world, inundated with matchmaking sites and dating apps, the promise of love is supposedly just a swipe away. Yet with all these ways to seemingly “connect,” so many of us are still out there just searching, clicking, swiping, and waiting for that indefinable love connection; that moment when, for some wonderfully inexplicable reason, a spark goes off and the feeling is finally mutual.
Whether you’ve hit the burnout on Internet dating or you’ve never joined the Tinders of the world, we decided to take a trip back in time to the land-before-living-online to take a look at how to find real love (or at least a date), in the real world, in real time.
Take A Class
We’d all like to believe in the romantic notion of destiny, but when it comes to falling in love, one of the most crucial components is actually proximity. No wonder love came so effortlessly in our youth; we were in schools sandwiched amongst potential mates for hours and hours on end. If your current office environment isn’t making you crush, signup for a new class and plug into a fresh new dating pool. Not only are you growing, but you’re also giving yourself the chance to really get to know someone in an organic, natural way. You’ll be passing love notes in no time.
RSVP To Everything
Another one-year-old’s birthday party? The fourth wedding this year and it’s only March?! The pain of being single is that you often roll solo to yet another wonderful hallmark that has nothing to do with what’s going on in your Netflix, pizza-eating life. Love, like most of life’s worthwhile endeavors is really just a numbers game where only the strong survive. So, dust off your weary heart, put on your party dress, and RSVP to everything. Eventually you’ll run into your other half, who also hates going to everything alone, and the two of you will have a lot in common.
Do Things Alone
Yes, the idea of eating dinner alone might sound like a horror we’d never wish upon ourselves, but it doesn’t look as a bad as you think it does. In fact, you actually look like a confident person that can enjoy his or her own company. Going to things alone is the perfect way to signal approachability. Oftentimes, going out in groups can actually keep you closed off from potential sparks, but when you’re flying solo you’re signaling to the world that you’re available. Explore all of your favorite restaurants, grab a seat at the bar, chat up the bartender, and stay open.
Many of us put ourselves on the back burner. We prioritize work and self-imposed to do-lists, and we forget to take a breather to check in and see if we’re actually enjoying any of things we’re so busy doing. If you don’t have time to date, then you won’t have time for love. When you’re actually in a relationship, in order to make it work, you’re going to have to be able to prioritize someone else’s needs. If you don’t know how to make time now, there’s a good chance you won’t know how to do it then. Romance and attracting it into your life has so much to do with your ability to be flexible, free, and willing. So slow down.
Feng Shui Yourself A Romance
Setting an intention can be the most powerful thing you do when trying to achieve anything in life. Knowing what you want, and getting clear on how much you want it, is one of the first steps to attracting anything–the same is true for love. Take a look around your house, and if it doesn’t look like there’s space for someone else you may be sending the Universe mixed messages. To Feng Shui your love, consider the following: Clean out your closets, making room for your future lover’s clothes. Upgrade the bedroom by investing in luxurious bedding. Make sure there’s a side table on both ends of your bed, signaling to a potential mate that there’s room to make themselves at home. These tiny little gestures can go a long way for building the foundations for a connection in your life.
Many of us are stuck in the belief that “If I get (fill in dream job, salary, relationship of your dreams here) then I will finally be happy.” The problem with this logic is that it’s simply not true. The key to getting the thing you want is to first become the thing you want. If you’re looking for fulfillment in another person, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Figure out how to feel happy with your life, just the way that it is now. Shine your own inner light and marvel at how people begin to gravitate towards you. Whenever we are in a space of need or reaching, we’re ultimately repelling the very object of our desire. Stay put, dig deep inside your own happy well, and marvel at the magic that comes your way.
It’s easier said than done, but the trick to meeting someone is as simple as staying open. People that are constantly dating are people that can see the best in others, that are open to giving them a genuine chance. It’s good to have standards, but sometimes those very standards turn into a wall of expectations that actually guard you from getting to know someone. Love is rarely an instant attraction. Ask anyone in a relationship and you’ll most likely hear an incredible story of how the two people actually got together, filled with “ She didn’t like me at first” or “It took me awhile to notice her.” Often, in our fast-paced society, we’re quick to miss people. We make snap judgments and we move on. Next time someone approaches you, give him or her more than a few guarded minutes. Yes, it’s hard to not shut down when approached by a stranger, but lowering the guard a little may let you see that the world is filled with so many interesting people worth getting to know.
Go To Their Favorite Watering Hole
Think like your target: What does the person you want to meet do in their down time? Often when we’re single, we hang in places that are within our own comfort zone or within our own range of interests. If you’re not finding love on your path, it may be time to take a new road. Go to museum lectures, political rallies, comedy shows, dance classes, and storytelling nights. There’s so much more to discover in the world beyond that little glowing white screen. Your love is probably out there doing the very thing they love.
Ask People To Set You Up
Sometimes the people in your life know you better than you know yourself. Sure, asking for love referrals doesn’t sound super sexy but you’d be surprised at your friend’s Cupid skills. If you want to meet someone, the people in your life should know you’re looking. There’s no shame in wanting love. So, go ahead, ask for it!